COLUMBIA'S LUNCH REVIEW

Over the past several years, advances in technology and the accessibility of media have led to a remarkable democratization of information for today’s consumer. It comes as no surprise then that a similar revolution is taking place in the food services industry. I’m talking, of course, about Which Wich.

Which Wich serves all sorts of different sandwiches (or “wiches”) for standard Columbia prices, along with chips and cookies. However, what makes this place noteworthy is that the customer designs their sandwich completely. You walk in, grab a pen, and fill out a menu card with what you want on your “wich," picking everything from the bread to the meat to the condiments to the sauce(s).

Basically, what Subway started, Which Wich has Emirel-ed up another notch. This is a sandwich shop, through and through, but at Which Wich you are the chef. Sounds simple, right? Well my friends, it can get pretty hairy if you’re not careful. Can we really be trusted with this much say in what goes on our sandwiches? Were restaurants not designed to take some of this power out of our Prometheus-like grasp and place it in the more responsible hands of our local entrepreneurs? For example, if given the option of ranch or 1000 island on my sandwich, what – besides my own willpower, which is sort of like having a blind man with a cane show up to a whoop-ass contest – is to stop me from drowning my entrée in both? When given this much latitude, would I use it for good, or end up destroying myself? Today, Knasty and I went to find out.

We showed up well after 1pm, thus avoiding the lunch crowd that normally fills the place to the brim (Note – given WW’s proximity to campus, this may have been a chronological error in judgment, as our “scenery” was noticeably depleted and Knasty lamented on the considerable lack of co-ed talent for his viewing pleasure). There was no line, so I casually looked over my options on the menu cards. Turkey, roast beef, chicken, or all of the above? Peanut Butter and Banana (known as “The Elvis”)? Powdered Sugar and Ham (known as the “Monte Christo”)? It was like a sensory overload – I couldn’t make a decision. Finally, out of desperation to have the whole thing be done with, I opted for their black bean patty.

Really? Black Bean Patty? That’s what I chose? This is the crap I’m talking about – I had so much to pick from, I spent so much time weighing my options, that I experienced classic paralysis by analysis and ended up choosing something that I would never in my right mind select. Luckily, the Black bean patty basically tastes like a whopper jr. patty from burger king, so everything turned out okay. However, I am a little scared to think what I’ll come up with next time.

In all seriousness, WW makes a really solid meal. The portions are perfect (7 inch sub rolls in white or wheat) and the staff does a great job of stuffing what is often an absurd amount of toppings into a tightly packed sandwich. Then, they use these special toaster ovens to get it to you warm and crispy. I have tried several variations of meats and veggies and have always been pleased. In fact, Tank claims (though I don’t believe it) to have tried over 40 different sandwiches in the short time that this place has been open. However, if anyone can back up to such a bold statement, its him.

Here is an insider's tip for the next time you go – opt for the homemade chips. While they have all the usual chip suspects (baked lays, regular, Doritos, etc.) WW also offers homemade “Wich Chips” that are lightly seasoned with black pepper. They are thicker than normal potato chips, feature ridges, and are easily the best offered in town. A perfect compliment to any sandwich.

Really there are just two criticisms, and they are minor. First, the place looks like the inside of an apple computer. If you’ve never been there, this probably makes no sense, but if you have then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Second, it is no more than 55 degrees inside this place at any given time. This is a welcome characteristic to some lunchmen like Tank, who I may rename the Polar Bear, but for normal warm blooded patrons like Rabbit, its borderline unbearable. Had there been seating available outside, I’d have taken advantage in a heartbeat.

All in all, this is a really sound choice and welcome addition to the South Main area. If you get a wich, chips and a drink you’re looking at about 8 bucks total, which compares favorably to most places in town. And, if you go at the right time, there’s plenty to see while you eat.

-Rabbit