I'm not sure what I enjoyed more over the past few days - watching the college bracket drama, or watching the first round swings in the Columbia Lunch March Madness Showdown. At 10:00 a.m. this morning, we still had seven first-rounds ties. Thanks for all the emails and input.
Front-runners Cafe Millwood, No Name Deli, and The Kingsman all came through with unanimous victories, as did 2nd-seeded Immac, The Other Store, and Garden Bistro. The top three seeds in each bracket managed to avoid upset, although I must disclose that the End Zone Grill's fate against Tio's was still undecided until a tie-breaking vote was cast by Tug a few moments ago. Other favorites, like 5th-seeded Salty Nut and 8th-Cafe Strudel, struggled until the very end as well.
Some of the best drama this weekend was found in 5-points. I'm not talking about the St. Patrick's Day celebration, my friends, I'm talking about the fist fight between 6th-seeded Yesterdays and 11th-seeded Groucho's. Both of these venerable 5-points institutions had fans pressing them to victory. Who could blame them? Choosing between Yesterday's grits and Groucho's Formula 45 sauce just ain't easy. However, in the end, Groucho's eaked out the upset.
Other upsets include a surprising fall by 6th-seeded Zoe's to 11th-seeded Villa Tronco. The lesson from that match-up is, perhaps, that Columbia's main street workers are not too easily pulled away from their support of the downtown establishment restaurants. Then again, 4th-seeded Hampton Place Cafe got rocked and toppled by Tako-Sushi, one of the newer players on the lunch game. Tako-Sushi's prices were a big concern to the pundits, but the fans seem undeterred.
New-comer and 6th-seeded Thirsty Fellow did not fare as well as Tako-Sushi. Thirsty Fellow fell to 11th-seeded Golden Chopstix. Perhaps other share my passion for the Tom Kha?
In other results, the Cock-N-Bull's new location has been warmly received by its fans. The Cock-N-Bull delivered an absolute beat-down over favored Carolina Cafe, who received only one vote. Similarly, 8th-seeded Bombay Grill fell to 9th-seeded Nick's House of Pizza, and 6th-seeded Beezer's fell to the darling of West Columbia, 11th-seeded Compton's.
Here is what round two looks like; please get your votes in so that your restaurants can earn a coveted spot in Columbia's own Sweet 16.
TANK REGION
#1 Café Millwood ~vs~ #9 Nick’s House of Pizza
#5 DiPrato’s ~vs~ #4 Vella’s
#11 Golden Chopstix ~vs~ #3 The Mousetrap
#7 Publik House ~vs~ #2 Hunter-Gatherer
RABBIT REGION
#1 No Name Deli ~vs~ #8 Motor Supply Co.
#5 Mathias ~vs~ #13 TakoSushi
#11 Compton’s ~vs~ #3 Andy’s Deli
#7 Taqueria Jalisco ~vs~ #2 The Other Store
PUBLICAN REGION
#1 The Kingsman ~vs~ #9 Cock-n-Bull
#5 Drake’s Duck-in ~vs~ #4 Mr. Friendly’s
#11 Groucho’s ~vs~ #3 End Zone Grill
#7 Al-Amir ~vs~ #2 Immaculate Consumption
FRODO REGION
#1 Tony's Downtown ~vs~ #8 Cafe Strudel
#5 Salty Nut ~vs~ #4 El-Burrito
#11 Villa Tronco ~vs~ #3 M Cafe
#7 Dano’s ~vs~ #2 Garden Bistro
These are some great match-ups, we'll try to post the winners around this time tomorrow.
- Tank
Greetings Sports Fans!! Its that time of year again – March Madness. In honor of the NCAA Basketball Tournament, the Lunchmen are proud to bring you the 1st Annual Columbia Lunch March Madness Showdown. This afternoon Tank, Frodo, the Publican and yours truly got together and put 64 Capital City Area restaurants into 4 brackets, seeded 1-16. We’ll invite you to review the first round matchups and based on your feedback, we’ll post results of the first two rounds Early Next week, along with pairings for the Sweet 16 next weekend. We’ll then do it all again until we crown one champion- the ultimate lunch spot in Columbia. So, take a look at the seedings and match-ups below, and let us know who you think should or would win on some of your favorite showdowns. Enjoy:
TANK REGION
| 1 | Café Millwood | ~vs~ | 16 | Hong Kong Grill |
| 2 | Hunter Gatherer | ~vs~ | 15 | 300 Senate |
| 3 | The Mousetrap | ~vs~ | 14 | Liberty |
| 4 | Vella's | ~vs~ | 13 | Very's |
| 5 | DiPrato's | ~vs~ | 12 | 5 Guys Burgers |
| 6 | Thirsty Fellow | ~vs~ | 11 | Golden Chopstixx |
| 7 | Publick House | ~vs~ | 10 | Which Wich |
| 8 | Bombay Grill | ~vs~ | 9 | Nick's House of Pizza |
RABBIT REGION
| 1 | No Name Deli | ~vs~ | 16 | Hardee's |
| 2 | Other Store | ~vs~ | 15 | Swanson's |
| 3 | Andy's Deli | ~vs~ | 14 | Loose Cockaboose |
| 4 | Hampton Place | ~vs~ | 13 | Tako Sushi |
| 5 | Mathias | ~vs~ | 12 | Rockaway's |
| 6 | Beezer's | ~vs~ | 11 | Compton's |
| 7 | Taqueria Jalisco | ~vs~ | 10 | Brookland Baptist |
| 8 | Motor Supply | ~vs~ | 9 | Pita's |
PUBLICAN REGION
| 1 | The Kingsman | ~vs~ | 16 | Cabo Fresh Taco |
| 2 | Immaculate Consumption | ~vs~ | 15 | Atlanta Bread Co. |
| 3 | End Zone Grill | ~vs~ | 14 | Tio's |
| 4 | Mr. Friendly's | ~vs~ | 13 | Thicket |
| 5 | Drake's Duck In | ~vs~ | 12 | Sandy's |
| 6 | Yesterday's | ~vs~ | 11 | Groucho's |
| 7 | Al Amir | ~vs~ | 10 | Greek Boys |
| 8 | Carolina Café | ~vs~ | 9 | Cock n Bull |
FRODO REGION
| 1 | Tony's Downtown | ~vs~ | 16 | 1441 Main |
| 2 | Garden Bistro | ~vs~ | 15 | Hennessey's |
| 3 | M Café | ~vs~ | 14 | Casa Linda |
| 4 | El Burrito | ~vs~ | 13 | Za's |
| 5 | Salty Nut | ~vs~ | 12 | Nathan's |
| 6 | Zoe's | ~vs~ | 11 | Villa Tronco |
| 7 | Dano's Pizza | ~vs~ | 10 | Chick Fila |
| 8 | Café Strudel | ~vs~ | 9 | Pawley's Front Porch |
Wow - there are some intriguing match-ups on the board. Taqueria Jalisco v. Brookland Baptist right off the bat?? Mathias and Rockaway's?? Yesterday's v. Groucho's?? These clashes seem more suited for the elite 8, not the opening round. And what about potential upsets? Can Cayce Stalwart Golden Chopstixx take down newcomer Thirsty Fellow? Will Tank's hatred for El Burrito open the door for Za's to advance? The possibilities are endless...
Okay faithful readers – let us hear from you. Either post comments to this blog, or email the lunchmen at lunchmen@gmail.com. We look forward to hearing from everyone soon. Results will be posted Monday, March 21.
-Rabbit
Buenas Dias, mis amigos!
After a miserably frigid January and February, the recent uptick in temperatures has put the Lunchmen in a Fiesta state of mind. Eager to indulge in all the deliciousness our neighbors south of the border can offer, the Lunchmen sponsored no less than 2 trips this week for Mexican fare. On Wednesday, Captain Understatement, Tank and I ventured into the black hole of real estate between Irmo and Downtown for Taqueria Jalisco. For those of you not familiar with TJ, it’s a little gem of a restaurant tucked away in what is probably the nicest shopping center on St. Andrews (not that that is saying much) just off I-26 westbound.
TJ is a Mexican restaurant in the traditional sense, with free chips and salsa, immigrant waiters and waitresses, and lots of candy for sale at the counter. However, unlike its brethren, whose food seems to get greasier, dirtier, and mushier every time I go back (I’m talking to you San Jose, Monterrey’s and La Fiesta), there is something about TJ that seems a cut above the rest. Maybe it’s the cool clean air-conditioning, or maybe it’s the fact that the tables and booths aren’t stacked too close together, or maybe it’s the little additions to the cuisine that you don’t get at any old Mexican place. Whatever it is, we have noticed enough to make Taqueria Jalisco our go-to lunch spot when we want to fill up on chips, tacos, and beer.
Upon arrival, the Captain and the Tank quickly ordered beers, and I went ahead and told the waiter we’d be needing another round of chips and salsa as he was placing our first basket on the table. I’ve been to enough rodeos to know that one basket of chips and salsa is enough – for one person. When you have three grown men darkening your doors, you’d better be prepared to offer AT LEAST three rounds of free chips and salsa, damn it.
TJ features all of the normal Mexican dishes you would expect – tacos, fajitas, enchiladas, burritos, et al., with rice and beans complimenting most dishes. However, where Jalisco really earns its stripes are with its specialty tacos. Rather than loaded down with grade Q white cheese and meat that may or not be mammalian, TJ’s tacos are tightly wrapped masterpieces that are served hot, sans cheese (so you know rabbit is down), with a side of diced chives and onions to pour on. Add in their salsa and you’ve got a truly baller taco. Order three, eat for around 6 bucks, and leave stuffed and blissful.
The tacos come in steak, chicken, pork, and even beef tongue if you are adventurous like the Tank. (BTW – Tank also highly recommends TJ’s tortas, but warns that it invariably comes out much later than the rest of the food, usually when everyone else is finished, thus affecting some of the satisfaction one would normally derive from such a tasty treat).
I should also note that I’ve tried some of the other menu items (fajitas) and there are, in a word, adequate. They certainly aren’t terrible, and you’ll probably enjoy them enough, but there is just no reason to order anything other than the aforementioned tacos. To do otherwise would be akin to visiting Teotichaun and not going to the pyramids. In other words – why even bother?
-Rabbit
-Rabbit
Anyone who ever asked a woman where she wants to eat is familiar with the phrase: “I don’t care.” The website dearblankpleaseblank.com provides the best solution to this common problem:
Dear Restaurateurs,
Please open a restaurant called "I Don't Care" so I can finally take my girlfriend to eat at the place she's always talking about...
Sincerely,
Annoyed Men
Today’s lunch provided us with an interesting counter-study in the male response to the common question – where do you want to eat? In our office, the dynamic almost always involves 2 or more competing ideas and 1 or more absolute vetoes. On a day like today, it can take a skilled mediator most of the morning to settle on a lunch call; because much like Cartman from South Park, many of the Lunchmen will bail on lunch altogether if certain restaurants or cuisines are selected. For example, the monomaniacal Rabbit not only displays an unflinching devotion to all things salad, he also unequivocally refuses to eat Indian food. Often accused of xenophobia, Rabbit insists he just can’t stand to be in the same room as curry. His steadfast refusal has derailed many a fine lunch.
Today, however, didn’t involve the Rabbit-maligned deliciousness that is Indian food. Today was a simple six man Friday call. After 45 minutes, Tank skillfully crafted a compromise: Tony’s in Cayce for the pizza buffet and a couple philly cheesesteaks. We headed off in multiple vehicles. Tex, Kali and Rabbit went ahead while Tank, the Dude, and I followed. When Tank’s care pulled into Parkland Plaza, a disturbed Rabbit came running into the parking lot waving his arms like a lunatic. Tony’s, he reported, did not have the usual and customary pizza buffet. We were dismayed.
After a little wrangling, we abandoned Tony’s for the obvious audible, The Kingsman. Unfortunately, the “Pearl of Cayce” was slammed with no tables available, much less one that could accommodate a sixsome. Gridlock ensued. Palmetto Pig, Sandy’s Hot Dogs, Vellas, Which Wich, Carolina Café, and others were all met with the sort of resistance typically reserved by rednecks for universal healthcare. Throw a looming one o’clock conference call into the mix, and you’ve got some real logistical problems further complicating matters. Despite his best efforts, Tank couldn’t lift the group out of this jam, so the group splintered.
Tex, Rabbit and I enjoyed a fabulous meal at the Kingsman thanks to a few regulars who just vacated their tables. Kali, Tank and the Dude, on the other hand, went down a dark and dangerous path. The siren song of free chips and salsa tugged the splinter cell, led by Kali, across the boulevard to Monterreys. Yes, that Monterreys. The one that caters equally to the destitute and the underaged. The one where the only thing authentic is the unreliable air conditioning. The one that Tank suspects uses reconstituted meat; the kind shaved from Bovine ankles, melted in a fat, powdered in plastic and frozen for your convenience.
Tank’s horror story on his return made me uneasy. In fact, I can’t even stand to repeat it, and he can’t bear to write it down. The wretched place is so well known in Columbia, we won’t even waste our time providing a review. Suffice it to say that Monterrey’s is to restaurants what snuff films are to theater. Instead of recounting this experience, we hope you’ll learn from our mistakes. We admonish you, hell, we beg you: travel light in numbers, give yourself ample time, and be flexible for the good of the group. Your lunch depends on it.
- The Publican
Another Columbia Landmark has fallen victim to the Great Recession. S&S Cafeteria, an after church destination cafeteria for decades, is closing for business on January 31, 2011. The Lunchmen are saddened by this news, given that S&S was the last remaining restaurant of its kind in the Capital City. We encourage everyone to pick up their grandmother this month and take them out for one last hurrah at the S&S. They are located in the old Richland Fashion Mall at the Corner of Forest Drive and Beltline Boulevard.
-The Lunchmen
Editor’s Note: Upon learning this sad news, Frodo, friend of the Lunchmen, lamented that two of the restaurants for which he has provided guests posts for the blog – Nice n’ Natural and S&S – have since gone out of business. Columbia Restaurateurs beware: if Frodo darkens your door looking to have a review-lunch, you may be out of business by the end of the month.
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It’s January, which means a few things here at the office – some people start using their lunch breaks to “hit the gym” and sweat off those holiday pounds (Tex), some people review their year end bonus and scream bloody murder (Tank), and still others look forward to another year of work and contemplate Jumping out of the window (Publican). For the Rabbit, January means one thing: my annual luncheon with East Bound and Down, my favorite snake-oil (READ: insurance) salesman. Once a year he buys me lunch and helps me ensure that Mrs. Rabbit will be taken care of should I unexpectedly head to that great salad bar in the sky.
This year, knowing I wouldn’t be paying, I opted for lunch-men favorite Blue Marlin, which has been mentioned on several blog lists for various items, but never properly reviewed here. However, arriving at 12:45 we were greeted with a 30 minute wait, so we pulled an audible** and walked across Gervais to Liberty Taproom and Grill.
Liberty Taproom is technically a chain in that it’s got a few locations in the Palmetto state, but it definitely doesn’t feel too corporate. Upon arrival we were told to seat ourselves anywhere in the bar area, and were quickly offered our choice of micro-brews. This being a “business lunch,” and me being a “total wimp,” I declined and instead opted for tea (remember I wasn’t paying, otherwise this would be water all the way).
After a few minutes of serious talk, our food arrived. East Bound, determined to keep his svelte figure intact, ordered the Ahi Tuna Salad, which features red peppers, snow peas, green onions, rice noodles with an Asian honey lime dressing. The tuna was, as all tuna should be, rare, and the salad looked awesome. East Bound could not have been happier with his selection. To sum it up, he ate a healthy meal, but it was so good it felt like an indulgence. In my opinion that is the ultimate goal of a salad.
I’m sure right now you’re expecting me to tell you I also went with a salad. However, since this was a review lunch, I felt that we had to explore other areas of the menu. Therefore, I tried to find something that would (1) satisfy my cravings for the vegetables I need and (2) fairly reflect Liberty’s cuisine. I spotted the Lunch Salmon item from the “Fish Board” section of the menu and knew I was in business. It’s a piece of salmon grilled and blackened (you can get it cooked a number of ways, but this is how I think its best), served with two sides. I went with collards and seasoned vegetables. The collards were among the best in town, and I actually found pieces of pork scattered among the greens. Normally, seasoned vegetables are treated by restaurants as an afterthought, and more time is spent on their calorie-intense counterparts like french fries or mac n’ cheese. Not so at Liberty. The veggies were fresh, sautéed perfectly, and seasoned with a little kick that made me stand up and take notice. I tried to take a picture, but unfortunately it didn’t turn out. Too bad, because the presentation was surprisingly sophisticated and really added to the experience.
So to sum up, East Bound got a little new business for his 2011 book, and I got a free meal that was one of my most pleasant surprises from a restaurant in a long time. All in all, a successful lunch. I know that Liberty is more commonly known for its happy hour, but if you are in the Vista, its worth the trip for lunch. You won’t regret it.
-Rabbit
** - The Lunch time “Audible” is a very under discussed but nonetheless very important part of the lunching experience. Often a place will have a wait or not accept check cards, or our group will be too large, etc. such that we must, on a moment’s notice, break camp and find a new destination. This can be a maddening and disorienting experience for the diner who has been dreaming of a particular item for 2-plus hours, only to have those dreams dashed in an instant. So, what is a lunchman to do? Here are a few factors to consider when making the audible call that will make the transition as seamless as possible:
- Keep it close – No doubt you are famished by the time you walk in the restaurant, so your hunger is only going to grow exponentially as your stomach leaves empty. Therefore, if you can walk to your audible place quickly, all the better. This works particularly well in 5-points, downtown, or the Vista. But, if you are heading out to somewhere more remote, it may require prior research to confirm (1) you likely won’t need an audible because you are going at the right time with the right amount of people, and (2) if for some reason you do, there will be a place close by you can live with.
- Keep it similar – If you had your mind fixed on Mexican and were all pumped to set a new taco eating record at Casa Linda, then an audible to your local sushi bar probably won’t do. You need to keep the theme of the original lunch intact – where else can you get a taco, or a burrito nearby? Columbia is big enough that this should not be a problem.
- Keep it cheap – Don’t let a lunch audible bust your budget. If you went out expecting to pay $6 for a burger and fries, don’t let people talk you into spending twice that down the street. While the food may be worth the price, it will seem extra expensive since you were mentally prepared to fork over only half of what your bill actually is. I have learned this the hard way.
So remember, when forced to audible, keep it close, similar, and cheap, and you should be good to go.
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