COLUMBIA'S LUNCH REVIEW

After a long and restless Halloween weekend chasing around 17 month-old baby Frodo, Mrs. Frodo and I decided that we owed it to ourselves to give each other a little quality alone time.  Therefore, we decided that we would make Monday night . . . DATE NIGHT!

Where would an acceptable date night destination be for Mr. and Mrs. Frodo?   We tried to consider an eatery that would clean from our systems the copious amounts of Halloween candy ingested the night before.

Would it be somewhere romantic, like a Garibaldi’s or Restaurante Divino? 

What about a little out-of-the-way place, like Mr. Friendly’s? 

Or, somewhere in the ‘burbs we haven’t tried like Travinia’s?

Mrs. Frodo and I struggled with this decision all day, emailing, phoning, and Facebooking each other with one idea after the next. 

We went to Mr. Friendly’s on our last date night, and while delicious, we were ready for a change.

We wanted to avoid the suburbs like the plague.  We had heard that the ‘burbs were like trying meth for the first time, and we worried that if we went to the ‘burbs and tried it, we might never make it back.

The romantic idea didn’t fit well with a Monday night date night—we wanted to go somewhere a little something more, shall we say, “blue collar.”  A place where it is totally acceptable to show up wearing a Dickies shirt with your named patched on the breast. 

So what would fit the bill?  On the way home from another day slaving for the man and counting my day in six minute increments, I saw a Light that provided my answer. I capitalize “Light” because it was so bright and vibrant it was like the Star of David leading the Three Wise Men to Baby Jesus, only this Light led me to culinary delight:

Mrs. Frodo, ever the proud soul, had her reservations about my choice.   With its octogenerian clientele, cafeteria line service, and florescent lighting that is only rivaled by an operating room, this place is not known for its ambiance.  I have seen pictures of North Korean gulags that have more of a welcoming interior than the S&S Cafeteria.

But, once I explained that the Light guiding me was nothing short of divine inspiration, Mrs. Frodo, ever the faithful one, agreed to make S&S Cafeteria our date night choice.

All I can say is that Mrs. Frodo was not disappointed.  She went with the fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, green beans, and iron-skillet baked cornbread.  I went with the freshly carved roast beef, turnip greens, steamed cabbage, and jalapeno cornbread. 

The roast beef normally comes (literally) floating in gravy, but I had the courteous S&S server just drizzle my roast beef with the au jus.  It was roasted perfectly—medium rare, and cut thinly for easy eating.  The turnips are the best you can get west of Florence, and the cabbage did such a number on my taste buds that they are still dancing.  Mrs. Frodo raved about the fried chicken, with its crispy exterior and moist, tender interior.  She informed me that the macaroni and green beans were above average. 

But, the highlight of the meal was the bread.  Folks, simply put, you will not have better cornbread that what is offered at the S&S Cafeteria.  My Me-Maw cooked cornbread growing up, but I would laugh in her face and hide her denture cleaner if she made me choose between her cornbread and S&S’s cornbread.  S&S cooks their cornbread in an cast iron baking pan greased with bacon drippings or lard, resulting in a crispy, crunchy exterior.  The interior is loaded with corn kernels and jalapeno peppers, resulting in a sweet and spicy bread that simply makes you want to make out with your wife right there in the middle of the restaurant.  Most of the patrons in the S&S wouldn’t notice anyway because they have to take off their glasses during the meal as their bifocals fog up from the steam of their food. 

There is only one thing that upsets my man Tank more than poor food quality and service – lack of parking. On numerous occasions, the Publican and I have witnessed Tank react to a lack of spaces with what can only be described as a mild coronary. The guy just does not like circling around looking for places to park. It is such a problem that he has vetoed lunch options solely on the premise that parking would be too hard to come by. However, rather than merely gripe about this, I decided to use Tank’s strange condition to my advantage. Following a morning long Sudoku session (more commonly known as continuing education seminar), I threw out the idea of an old favorite from my childhood in the capital city – Andy’s Deli. Tank was somewhat apprehensive, but as soon as I regaled him with tales of a large and spacious lot to park in, he was on the suggestion like a fat girl on a BB.

First, a little history – I’ve probably eaten at Andy’s Deli more than any other place featured on the blog (including No Name Deli). Back in High School, I probably went at least twice a week for over three years, and many times more often than that. This continued while I was at Carolina. I know Mr. Andy. His younger son was in High School with me, and his older son was my First Week chaperone. (If you don’t know what First Week is, then you were not cool in High School and should find another blog to follow). In other words, I am well versed with the menu and its highlights. Why then, you may ask, are we just now getting a review on this Columbia landmark? Well, since I work downtown and live in the sticks, I don’t get to 5-points as much as I’d like, and just haven’t had the occasion to stop by in a while. All that changed today, however, as the three original lunchmen went in for another bold Friday call.

If you know Andy’s then you know what it’s famous for – the sauce. Much like it’s rival Groucho’s, the sandwiches at Andy’s are, while serviceable on their own, merely the stage upon which Mr. Andy displays his true culinary triumph – a delicious mixture of 1000 island, dill, and other undisclosed ingredients. The sauce is thicker, and in my opinion superior to Groucho’s 45 sauce, but I mention it to provide others with a point of reference and comparison.

For this day’s lunch, Tank went with the R2D2 – a grinder style sandwich with roast beef, pastrami and swiss – heated and served with the aforementioned sauce – plus a bowl of chili (Editor’s note – many people find that Andy’s while undeniably delicious, is somewhat lacking in the portion department, and therefore order additional menu items such as chili, an extra bag of chips, or a hot dog. Rabbit is too restrained (read: cheap) for such indulgences, but it is a common occurrence amongst others). The Publican, always a traditionalist, went with the Andy’s Special – another grinder featuring Roast Beef, Turkey, Bacon and Swiss, and added an extra bag of chips to complete his meal. Speaking of chips, a big draw of Andy’s is their variety of Wise brand chips you can choose from. All sandwiches automatically come with chips, and you can choose any one of several delicious flavors at your fingertips when you stand in line. Both patrons made quick work of their entrees. Tank summed it up when he said “the only word that can accurately describe an R2D2 is ‘delicious.’”

As for this guy, I went with my favorite – the My Dear’s Salad Bowl (as previously featured in my list of top 25 Columbia Salads post last month). This salad is covered in ham, turkey, bacon and cheese, and you can get the sauce as your dressing, either on it or on the side. As you can see by the picture, if you order this, there is no need for a second item to fill you up – you are lucky to get through this in one sitting. Though it had been a while since I had been in, Andy hadn’t lost his touch, and I soon found myself stuffed and satisfied. Add in a tall diet coke or tea with some of Columbia’s best crushed ice (and now featuring – finally – free refills) and you’ve got the makings of a great Friday lunch.

I encourage everyone, whether an Andy’s veteran or a first timer, to remember this place and all its history and deliciousness the next time you are near campus looking for a solid lunch call. You won’t be disappointed.

-Rabbit

The rumors, sadly, are all too true. Nice n’ Natural, a Columbia tradition for over 28 years, is closing its doors. Long an oasis of nutritional lunch options for the health conscious living and working around the USC campus, Nice n’ Natural appears to have fallen victim to the stagnant economy and will be shutting its doors for good Friday, October 29, 2010. We learned of this sad news earlier today while enjoying a Friday Lunch on a perfect autumn day in the capital city. All of the Lunchmen (including frequent guest blogger Frodo) encourage all of you to head out to Nice n’ Natural next week for your last chance at their chicken salad, a fruit, nut and yogurt plate, or my personal favorite meatless Rueben. No word yet on the fate of Cool Beans Coffee, located directly above Nice n’ Natural (and home to totally legit lunch options in its own right). Thanks for 28 years guys, you’ll be missed.

-Rabbit

15.       The Mouse Trap: The Boneless Chicken Breast lunch special with Yuengling Lager is great.  However, you’ve got to stay on top of the lunch special calendar to know when to go.

1)       End Zone Grill f/k/a Jerry Kellys: chicken Mojo sandwich, curly fries

2)       The Kingsman: pork chop special, green beans, macaroni, rice and gravy, roll

3)       El Burrito: beef burrito, hot and deluxe (sour cream, lettuce and tomato), add fresh peppers, onions and extra hot salsa

4)       Tonys Downtown: meat lasagna, garlic bread, salad w/ thousand island dressing on side

5)       Miyos: mu shu pork, white rice

6)       Grouchos:  STP, chips (oh, how I miss those Wise potato chips...), half and half tea with LOTS of crushed ice

7)       Café Millwood (weekend brunch): country fried steak, two eggs over medium, grits and biscuit

8)       Immaculate Consumption: immaculate salad with honey mustard, side of pita bread

9)       Nice-n-Natural: chicken salad sandwich, gazpacho (summer), black bean soup with cheese (winter)

10)    Blue Cactus: bee bim bop, spicy pork, fried egg

11)    The Other Store:  greek turkey, chips, cookie

12)    Palmetto Pig:  buffet – pork, extra hot vinegar sauce, slaw (1-1 ratio to pork), green beans, hash and rice, hush puppies, pickles (dill and sweet), white bread

13)    Yesterdays:  salmon and grits, collard greens, corn bread

14)    Rockaways:  Rockaway burger, side salad with thousand island dressing

15)    Al Amir: Damascus hummus with chicken and vegetables

16)    Cock and Bull: shrimp burger, fries, beer

17)    Bangkok: green curry chicken

18)    Hunter-Gatherer: cheeseburger with horseradish cheddar, hashbrowns, ESB

19)    Hooligans: French dip, fries, sweet tea with LOTS of crushed ice (steal a chicken finger from an unsuspecting dining companion)

20)    Lizards Thicket (Sunday only):  turkey and dressing (extra cranberry), macaroni, green beans, sliced tomatoes, corn bread

21)    No Name Deli: chicken salad on toasted wheat with lettuce and tomato, fries or vinegar pasta

22)    Muchos Margaritas: sopes

23)    Danos:  1 slice Sicilian pizza, 1 slice pepperoni, house salad (comes with loads of mozzarella...)

24)    Carolina Café: Winston-Salem on toasted everything bagel, chips, pickle, orange slice

25)    Greek Boys:  chicken tips, rice, greek salad

As the great Charles Barkley would say, "suck on that, Anthony."

Tank and I were lined up in the Boneless Fried Chicken formation and ready to score some baby limas and buttered squash at The Trap, when Spoony called in an audible to the “Bite of the Week.”  For the uninitiated, the Bite of the Week is pretty self explanatory – it is a weekly column in the Free Times dedicated to some delicious dish or meal here in our fair city. This week our friends at the Free Times suggested the Banh Mi (pronounced bun me) at Tea on State Street in West Columbia; so when Spoony gave us the signal, we made like Marcus Lattimore and rushed on over.  Ah, sports... the great metaphor for life.    

 

When we arrived, Spoony was resting impatiently, but comfortably, in a white retro modern ball chair enjoying the sounds of house music played from a nearby Peavey.  The highlight of the stylishly modern, Asian inspired furniture and décor was a striking mural depicting a stormy Vietnam.  The menus set in gilded frames were also a nice touch – an interesting, if unoriginal, contrast of modern and classic.  Overall, the clean lines and uncluttered space with exposed brick and blacked out ceiling beams made for a refreshingly different atmosphere.  One practical note: Tea is a no go for parties larger than 4, but with 40 varieties of tea and free wi-fi, the inviting space is ideal for a solo trip.      

The Lunchmen aren’t into reinventing the wheel (but we are into clichés), so we’ll set the table by shamelessly quoting our Free-Times inspiration penned by Jonathan Sharpe:

Tea’s house banh mi sandwich is a baguette stuffed with “BBQ pork”, a marinated and seasoned, thick-cut slice of pork resembling ham that is cooked on a griddle, along with cold cuts of steamed pork and head cheese — which is not a cheese but rather a cold cut made from slow-simmered pork head meat suspended in aspic. The well-sourced bread is crusty on the outside, soft on the inside, and spread on one side with paté, the other with butter. Completing the sandwich: slices of cucumber, jalapeño, cilantro and shredded daikon radish and carrot pickled in a light Asian dressing. If you’d rather choose your own adventure, there’s a build-your-own option on the menu. As for the bubble tea, owner Thuy Thach suggests choosing flavors that complement, such as honeydew jelly bubbles with coconut-flavored milk or coffee bubbles with almond-flavored milk.

We were greeted at the counter by Tea’s friendly proprietor.  She was patient with our rookie questions, and helped us navigate the menu.  Tank aptly noted that she seemed comfortable and at ease, unlike new restaurateurs we have encountered that are awkwardly eager to please.  We concluded that this ain’t her first rodeo.  In the grand tradition of the Lunchmen – and with a lot of help from our new friend – we diversified our order.  Tank opted for the House Adventurer described above – mostly because he thinks it is cool to eat headcheese.  To be honest, Anthony Bourdain convinced me headcheese was cool a long time ago... I’m just not cool enough yet to incorporate an amalgamation of swine dome and ear jelly into my regular diet.  I’ll get it next time, though, promise.  This time, I opted for the Chicken banh mi seasoned half and half with lemongrass and 5 spice, while Spoony chose the Chili Lime Shrimp banh mi. 

To round things out, we sprung for the Milk Tea: Tank went Almond and I went Mango with lychee jelly.  As they say, when in West Columbia...   A curious Tank also couldn’t resist the Shrimp Chips.  Undeterred, perhaps emboldened, by the proprietor’s warning that they were “an acquired taste,” Tank enthusiastically ordered the treat after taking one look at the package.  

We started in on the shrimp chips before we even made it to the table.  I’ll be the first to admit that my palate has its limits, but I enjoyed the shrimp chips.  I would definitely rank it above other Asian treats that are decidedly less palatable, among them: beef tendon, corn flavored and shaped ice cream bars, stinky tofu, and other “treats” I’ve encountered in my travels.  The crispy fry shaped chips were light and salty, with a satisfying, shrimpy aftertaste. 

As for the milk teas, we weren’t fans.  I’m sure they are expertly made and delicious for those accustomed to such beverages – but the Lunchmen prefer a robust coffee or tea to the super-sweet milk teas.  We were also a little unselttled by the jellys traveling up the extra wide straw. 

The sandwiches, on the other hand, were just plain delicious.  The marriage of pickled vegetables, spice, and meat on outstanding bread was a harmonious one.  The spice was assertive without being overpowering, complemented the clilantro and vegatables, and even made the sweet milk tea much better.  The lemongrass half of my sandwich stood out for its bright flavors, though the Chinese style 5 spice was also excellent.  

Tank seemed pleased with his sandwich as well – remarking at the heat from the jalapeno and relishing in his decision to hold off on the Sriracha.  The flavors simply work too well to be bastardized with Sriracha.  Tank noted that the headcheese worked into the other meat flavors, and didn’t stand out against the barbecue pork.  Next time, the Lunchmen may deconstruct the sandwich and sample the parts individually to get a full appreciation for how well the ingredients come together.  Spoony’s chili lime shrimp, while good, took third to the House Adventurer and half and half chicken. 

All in all, Tea gets an enthusiastic thumbs up from the Lunchmen – there are three new Banh Mi fans in the Metro.  We can’t wait to make it back to try more of the menu like the spring rolls and the numerous varieties of loose leaf tea.

- The Publican