COLUMBIA'S LUNCH REVIEW

(2) Hunter-Gatherer v. (2) Immac

"The Skirmish on South Main" pits lunchtime Johnny-Come-Lately H-G against the bohemian Immaculate Consumption, a staple of bureaucrats and students. Hunter-Gatherer brews delicious beer while Immac brews well-sourced coffee. Will H-G's gourmet and satisfying fare beat out Immac's balanced menu of light and fresh options? Will a South Main hipster's head explode? Stay tuned to find out!

(1) No Name v. (4) El Burrito

The best of Uptown meets the best of Five Points in this intriguing match up. Watch as Rabbit's all-time favorite takes on Publican's original lunchtime haunt. Will Tank swear off lunch forever, as he promised is El Burrito wins? As a side note, kudos to the Urban Spoon reader who posted a crayon drawn hand turkey with the caption "Tank Sux" on the window at El Burrito. Who will prevail? Will fast and consistent No Name stall the ascension of Butler-esque El Burrito?

Vote now! The polls close at 11:59 p.m. Thursday night, and the results will be posted on Friday morning.

What a round! The Sweet 16 match-ups certainly lived up to their billing, all the contests were close, with a few exceptions, and we even had to go to a double secret probation style tiebreaker to decide the battle between Tony’s Downtown and El Burrito. Here are your results:

Diprato’s over Café Millwood

Did anyone see this coming? Certainly not the Publican, who, upon learning that his new favorite lunch locale had been upset by none other his least favorite restaurant, threatened to retire from the blogosphere completely unless the judges stepped in and declared a mis-trial. Sorry Publican, but the masses have spoken, and DiPrato’s moves on.

Hunter Gatherer over The Mousetrap

This was close for a while, but HG pulled away late. Both teams are final four worthy, but The Mousetrap may have been hampered by the fact that most of its clientele is too old to know how to get on the internet and vote. Next year we’ll allow people to vote via telegram also to avoid any accusations of ageism against the Lunchmen.

No Name over Mathias

The most lopsided victory of the entire round. No Name took advantage of Mathias’ relatively unknown status amongst the downtown eaters. Thus far, NND has cruised to the Elite 8 with no real challengers – can they continue on now that the competition gets even tougher?

Other Store over Andy’s

In the end, The Other Store, for all its flaws with service and timing, is just too damn delicious to be denied. They can lay an egg for sure, but the upside for TOS is as good as any place in town. Andy’s finishes a respectable run, and will surely be back next season.

Kingsman over Drake’s

In the battle of cholesterol, the Kingsman comes away with the W. I would say the Kingsman’s fried pork chops are the Jimmer Fredette of this tournament; we’ll see how far the Kingsman can ride them.

Immaculate Consumption over End Zone

In the end, the Zone has too many people complain of an occasional bad experience to overcome the solid consistency Immac has been serving up for years. No one seems to be noticing that Immac is quietly advancing ever closer to the final four. Could this be a sleeper pick to win it all?

Garden Bistro over M Café

In a battle of two teams no one really expected to make it this far, Garden Bistro surprises everyone when its fans come out of the wood works to sing it praises. They’ve had a nice run, but can they really go any further? Not likely, especially considering their next opponent:

El Burrito over Tony’s Downtown

This one was a dead heat the whole way. In the end, Tony’s could not overcome its lack of ventilation. Since atmosphere and experience are an important part of the equation, El Burrito’s open air dining and friendly staff pushes them over the top in this case, where both restaurant’s food is equally delicious. That is the second #1 seed to fall this round.

Here are the region finals, with the winners moving on to the final four:

TANK REGION FINAL

(5) DiPrato’s vs (2) Hunter Gatherer

After their epic upset of Millwood, does DiPrato’s have enough left in the tank? The Hunter Gatherer has been steadily plowing through the competition in a march to the final four. Will their dominance continue, or does DiPrato’s have another upset in them?

RABBIT REGION FINAL

(1) No Name v. (2) The Other Store

This chalk match-up pairs two opposites. No Name is quick, efficient, and full of working stiffs on their lunch break. TOS is slow, eccentric, and frequented by Forest Acres housewives fresh off the tennis court. No Name has yet to be challenged in the tourney, but that could very well change if fans of TOS’ Greek Turkey turn out to vote.

PUBLICAN REGION FINAL

(1) The Kingsman v. (2) Immaculate Consumption

Another chalk match-up with contrasting styles. Immac is the sort of place you go the day after going to Kingsman so you can feel better about your diet. The question remains, though – who is better suited to advance?

FRODO REGION FINAL

(4) El Burrito v. (2) Garden Bistro

Here we have two restaurants that are probably happy just to have gotten this far. To underestimate either though, may be perilous, as both have shown the ability to knock off some serious competition. In the end, it may come down to whose fan base shows up with more support.

Thanks to all who have participated thus far, and keep those votes coming – either leave a comment to this blog (at the top), or email us at lunchmen@gmail.com

Results will be posted Monday, March 28

-Rabbit

We started with 64 restaurants last week, and thanks to your input have culled through the lousy service and mediocre culinary offerings in one weekend. I must say I’m actually a bit surprised at the amount of “chalk” in this bracket. There were a few upsets in the first round (TakoSushi, Villa Tronco, Golden Chopstixx, etc), but by the time we get past round 2, we had NO double-digit seeds, and all of our 1, 2 and 3 seeds remain alive. Here are the second round results, with the winners moving on to the sweet 16:

TANK REGION

#1 Café Millwood defeats #9 Nick’s House of Pizza
#5 DiPrato’s defeats #4 Vella’s
#3 The Mousetrap defeats #11 Golden Chopstixx
#2 Hunter-Gatherer defeats #7 Publik House

RABBIT REGION

#1 No Name Deli defeats #8 Motor Supply Co.
#5 Mathias defeats #13 TakoSushi
#3 Andy’s Deli defeats #11 Compton’s
#2 The Other Store defeats #7 Taqueria Jalisco

PUBLICAN REGION

#1 The Kingsman defeats #9 Cock-n-Bull
#5 Drake’s Duck-in defeats #4 Mr. Friendly’s
#3 End Zone Grill defeats #11 Groucho’s
#2 Immaculate Consumption defeats #7 Al-Amir

FRODO REGION

#1 Tony's Downtown defeats #8 Cafe Strudel
#4 El-Burrito defeats #5 Salty Nut
#3 M Café defeats #11 Villa Tronco
#2 Garden Bistro defeats #7 Dano’s

Here are the match-ups for the Round of 16. Of course, the upside to the aforementioned lack of upsets is that, as a result, we are in store for some epic culinary battles:

TANK REGION

These match-ups could literally cause Tank’s head to explode. It’s pretty much his four favorite restaurants this side of the Congaree all facing off.

(1) Café Millwood ~vs~ (5) DiPrato’s

The first pairing is particularly interesting. Not only are these two restaurants very different in their menu offerings, décor and clientele, they seem to be diametrically opposed to one another on an almost fundamental philosophical level. I am reminded of when the gang in “The Sandlot” goes head to head with the fancy team from across town. I’ll let you figure out who is who in this analogy.

(2) Hunter Gatherer ~vs~ (3) The Mousetrap

Both have loyal fan bases, both have been around longer than the lunch men have been working downtown, and both really get going after the sun goes down. It may come down to who you prefer as your Evening entertainment – Jazz Night at the HG, or Ross Holmes at the Trap?

RABBIT REGION

(1) No Name Deli ~vs~ (5) Mathias

How did this happen so early? This is a matchup worthy of the grandest stage, not the Sweet 16! There aren’t many places that can compete with No Name’s tuna, chicken, and egg salad, but if there is such a locale, its probably Mathias (who apparently also has ham salad? Who knew?)

(2) The Other Store ~vs~ (3) Andy’s Deli

Two more venerable Columbia institutions. It’s a tough call, but really we should expect that from here on out. You don’t make it through the first couple of rounds if you are boo on any level.

PUBLICAN REGION

(1) The Kingsman ~vs~ (5) Drake’s Duck-In

This one has the feel of two aging heavyweights doing battle, each with one last chance to win the belt. The Kingsman fries pork chops better than anyone in town, but Drake’s fries everything else better than anyone in town. A true clash of the titans.

(2) Immaculate Consumption ~vs~ (3) End Zone Grill

Immaculate serves beer, its true, but its that fancy, lukewarm beer, and really its an afterthought to the rest of the menu. At the End Zone, beer is cold, cheap, and more commonly ordered than food. Two opposite ends of the spectrum do battle in The Publican’s bracket, whose personality is a contrarian as this pairing.

FRODO REGION

(1) Tony’s Downtown ~vs~ (4) El Burrito

At El Burrito, diners enjoy an open air space with a cool breeze flowing throughout the dining area. At Tony’s, customers walk through a dark hallway to a windowless, seemingly vent-less restaurant whose aromas stick in your clothes worse than the cheapest of Mexican restaurants. Despite these differences, both serve up quality lunches to their customers. I see this as a potential upset, but the fiercely loyal Tony’s proponents have surprised me thus far, so maybe they can ride their support into the final four.

(2) Garden Bistro ~vs~ (3) M Cafe

Does anyone else think this doesn’t feel like a 2 v. 3 matchup? Don’t get me wrong, both are consistently good, but has either ever “wowed” you? I can think of at least a dozen restaurants I would choose over these two that have already been eliminated. But, that is the beauty of a tournament like this – you don’t have to beat the best restaurant, just the restaurant you actually go against.

We’ll post results on Friday, March 22. Please email us at lunchmen@gmail.com, or click at the top of this article to leave a comment with your votes. Thanks,

-Rabbit

I'm not sure what I enjoyed more over the past few days - watching the college bracket drama, or watching the first round swings in the Columbia Lunch March Madness Showdown. At 10:00 a.m. this morning, we still had seven first-rounds ties. Thanks for all the emails and input.

Front-runners Cafe Millwood, No Name Deli, and The Kingsman all came through with unanimous victories, as did 2nd-seeded Immac, The Other Store, and Garden Bistro. The top three seeds in each bracket managed to avoid upset, although I must disclose that the End Zone Grill's fate against Tio's was still undecided until a tie-breaking vote was cast by Tug a few moments ago. Other favorites, like 5th-seeded Salty Nut and 8th-Cafe Strudel, struggled until the very end as well.

Some of the best drama this weekend was found in 5-points. I'm not talking about the St. Patrick's Day celebration, my friends, I'm talking about the fist fight between 6th-seeded Yesterdays and 11th-seeded Groucho's. Both of these venerable 5-points institutions had fans pressing them to victory. Who could blame them? Choosing between Yesterday's grits and Groucho's Formula 45 sauce just ain't easy. However, in the end, Groucho's eaked out the upset.

Other upsets include a surprising fall by 6th-seeded Zoe's to 11th-seeded Villa Tronco. The lesson from that match-up is, perhaps, that Columbia's main street workers are not too easily pulled away from their support of the downtown establishment restaurants. Then again, 4th-seeded Hampton Place Cafe got rocked and toppled by Tako-Sushi, one of the newer players on the lunch game. Tako-Sushi's prices were a big concern to the pundits, but the fans seem undeterred.

New-comer and 6th-seeded Thirsty Fellow did not fare as well as Tako-Sushi. Thirsty Fellow fell to 11th-seeded Golden Chopstix. Perhaps other share my passion for the Tom Kha?

In other results, the Cock-N-Bull's new location has been warmly received by its fans. The Cock-N-Bull delivered an absolute beat-down over favored Carolina Cafe, who received only one vote. Similarly, 8th-seeded Bombay Grill fell to 9th-seeded Nick's House of Pizza, and 6th-seeded Beezer's fell to the darling of West Columbia, 11th-seeded Compton's.

Here is what round two looks like; please get your votes in so that your restaurants can earn a coveted spot in Columbia's own Sweet 16.

TANK REGION
#1 Café Millwood ~vs~ #9 Nick’s House of Pizza
#5 DiPrato’s ~vs~ #4 Vella’s
#11 Golden Chopstix ~vs~ #3 The Mousetrap
#7 Publik House ~vs~ #2 Hunter-Gatherer

RABBIT REGION
#1 No Name Deli ~vs~ #8 Motor Supply Co.
#5 Mathias ~vs~ #13 TakoSushi
#11 Compton’s ~vs~ #3 Andy’s Deli
#7 Taqueria Jalisco ~vs~ #2 The Other Store

PUBLICAN REGION
#1 The Kingsman ~vs~ #9 Cock-n-Bull
#5 Drake’s Duck-in ~vs~ #4 Mr. Friendly’s
#11 Groucho’s ~vs~ #3 End Zone Grill
#7 Al-Amir ~vs~ #2 Immaculate Consumption

FRODO REGION
#1 Tony's Downtown ~vs~ #8 Cafe Strudel
#5 Salty Nut ~vs~ #4 El-Burrito
#11 Villa Tronco ~vs~ #3 M Cafe
#7 Dano’s ~vs~ #2 Garden Bistro

These are some great match-ups, we'll try to post the winners around this time tomorrow.

- Tank