COLUMBIA'S LUNCH REVIEW

I know what you are thinking - why are the Lunchmen giving a review on Chick-Fil-A? What's next, an article on how tasty McDonald's french fries are when you have a hangover? Listen, we wanted to write an entry on Chick-Fil-A today precisely because it is NOT McDonald's. If you are looking for the best fast & fried food you can find for lunch, then Chick-Fil-A is your spot.

McDonald's likes to try to win the public over with Monopoly games that never pay (me) any money and creepy, smiling clowns. This guy is not falling for it; McDonald's food generally is a phenomenon that should be studied in chemistry classes. I promise you, Chick-Fil-A is different. Like many Southern teenagers, I worked at a Chick-Fil-A in high school. Those chicken breasts and strips are no different than the ones you are buying in the grocery store, unless you are like Captain Understatement's Better Half and only buy chicken that has been hand-fed the best fresh-picked grains and housed in quarters fit for nobility. Chick-Fil-A's chicken is marinated over night, given a milk wash, hand-breaded in a secret blend of flour and spices, and deep fried for six minutes in fresh peanut oil. Its served on a buttered, toasted bun with two pickles.

The result is the best chicken sandwich that you will ever find at a chain restaurant. McDonald's attempt to rip off Chick-Fil-A, the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich, is a pathetic imitation. Rabbit, Mrs. Tank, the Publican and I were glad to rediscover this fact today, and at no cost to us. Since Chick-Fil-A is a proud sponsor of our beloved Gamecocks, they were quite happy to give us a free chicken sandwich in exchange for our ticket stubs from Saturday's home game. This deal was good enough to draw us out of our offices despite the pouring rain to enjoy waffle fries, hand-squeezed lemonade, and of course, the original southern chicken sandwich. Its not a healthy lunch, but its a sinful pleasure that sure hits the spot - particularly for Frodo, who likes to sneak to Chick-Fil-A by himself multiple times a week.

Obviously, it is still a fast food joint, so there are some missteps you can make by eating at Chick-Fil-A that may result in a bad time. Rule #1: stay very clear of the chicken salad. Trust me. You probably should steer away from the carrot raisin salad, too. Rule #2: Don't go when it is too slow - those chicken sandwiches are best when they are piping hot and have not had time to sit in a warming drawer. Rule #3: To maximize freshness, don't order a standard sandwich. Mix it up by leaving off the pickles, ordering a slice of cheese on it, or asking for no butter on the bun. This ensures that they have to make you a fresh one to order, which is always good. While your at it, order a deluxe - a little lettuce and tomato can probably do you some good if you are scarfing down fried poultry and waffle-cut potatoes.

Let's hope the Gamecocks keep scoring three touchdowns during the home games so that I can have more Mondays with free Chick-Fil-A sandwiches. Go Cocks.

- Tank