COLUMBIA'S LUNCH REVIEW

Typical cafe turning out typical results.

Tebow was so kind as to drive Rabbit, the Publican, and I to lunch today. I thought we were headed to Tio's, but a mid-route audible placed us next door at the Carolina Cafe. Parking for Carolina Cafe can be bad, but we were fortunate to have a 30-minute parking spot vacate as we were pulling up. If that's not writing on the wall....

Carolina Cafe looks exactly like you would expect a cafe to look. Yellow, cafe walls are adorn by random, low-end cafe art. The food counter has a bunch of college kids standing behind it debating the merits of enrolling in an art history course next semester. The food is pretty typical cafe food as well: soups, salads, bagels, and sandwiches. I don't say "typical" to convey any negative connotation - the food was fresh and of decent quality. Rabbit's Chef Salad had healthy, ripe veggies in it, and it lacked any wilted lettuce or sour tomatoes. He was a little down because the salad was pre-made earlier in the day, meaning that he had to pull out the cheese and egg yolks himself. However, the salad was passable.

Tebow and the Publican were pleased with the quality of the sandwiches they ordered. They commented on the fact that the turkey was better than one might find at a sub-par cafe or at Bi-Lo on sale; it was a nice cut of meat that was as lunch meat should be - moist, but not slimy. That's good, right? Similarly, my spinach bagel seemed recently baked, and the chicken salad I had on top of it was good, although a little heavy on the mayo. The pasta salad I had on the side was not very good at all because it lacked any imagination or flavor. I should have had a bag of Bickel's of York original potato chips instead.

We were discussing how to review our average experience at the Carolina Cafe when, to our pleasant surprise, Captain Understatement's Better Half sauntered into the restaurant for some solo dining. Captain Understatement's Better Half comes from a land where food is treated with more care and love than it receives at a place like the Carolina Cafe. Her mother is an excellent Greek cook, and I have been on the receiving end of some truly delightful fare that she has whipped out on a weekend afternoon. We asked her for her input, and she summed up the experience well (I'm paraphrasing):

"Its fine, its just fine. Its not great. You guys say that too many things are good that aren't THAT good. Its tasty enough for me to come grab and egg and cheese sandwich or a bagel because I work so close by, but it is nothing remarkable."

This was well said. The food at the Carolina Cafe is just ... pretty good.

We agree that often we describe things as "good" when, in a global sense, they aren't very remarkable at all. Certainly, the Carolina Cafe is not going to compete with the delis of New York and the side-walk cafes of Paris. Its not nearly that "good." When we say anything is "good" on this blog, we should probably qualify that opinion with the phrase "good for Columbia" or "good if your in this part of Columbia looking for a bite of what this place serves."

On a global scale of 1-10, I'd give the Carolina cafe only about a 2. On a Columbia deli/cafe scale, particularly around Campus, I'd rate it about a 5 - not too bad, just okay.

- Tank